Steveeee:]

Ugh

It’s Soooo Hot.. It’s Not Supposed To Be 80 Degress @ Night

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I haven’t been myself lately, I Don’t know what being myself is anymore actually. Every week is just day to day. Nothing eventful nothing really to focus on. Days continue to pass and all I ask is how could I have done today better, I always feel defeated, I always try to put all my effort into making things right only to find out in the end that no matter how right they may seem, I still see something wrong. It kills me at night to feel no sense of self. I feel that almost everyone has a negative opinion about me, probably because I have that opinion about myself.

I am okay, no matter how horrible I am.

Turth Is…

I’m not at all happy with much of anything right now. I’m not happy with the situation at home. I’m not happy with my social life, i’m not happy with the fact I’m not going to school. I like my job however I stress myself out entirely too much. I worry way to much, it’s gonna kill me it’s so very unhealthy. I feel under appricated most of the time. It’s very hard for me to be happy with myself, let alone other people. I try so hard so so hard to be the best at what I do, yet I always feel like I fail. It’s the same old same old every day, I will continue to try, and continue to beat myself up.

*Sigh*

I just don’t understand me, I really don’t some days it feels like there’s no emotion and some days I’m a mess, and then there’s days like today. This morning in quite okay, I’m normal. Then, this evening I’m just unhappy. No Big Deal,

First; I really don’t understand how to deal with people, one girl who I had a liking for since I was in high school. Recently became single at least that’s what I thought. I honestly don’t know what to think anymore, other then the fact is. She sucks.

Second, I rarely do anything anymore. It always seems like I don’t have money. I have a job. They pay me pretty well, I have a car, so on… Yet I seem to have little to no social life. Makes no sense.

Third. Most stupid, I need to take more pictures, of friends & family. I’m going to regret it years down the road when they are gone.

Thanks for reading (: